Tourette's Guy

Tourette's Guy is a website devoted to the antics of an [[allege]]d Tourette's Syndrome-sufferer named Danny. It consists entirely of him swearing and cussing at everything, and everyone, in extra-creative ways. His brilliant catchphrases such as "These fishsticks are as hard as tits!" and "FUCK SALT!!" (just to name a few) have brought intense levels of [[lulz]] all across the [[Internets]]. Of course, anyone with even half a brain will realize that he obviously doesn't suffer from [[Autism|yet]] [[Asperger's|another]] [[Borderline Personality Disorder|made]] [[Depression|up]] [[ADHD|mental]] [[Bipolar|disorder]] and is just your average drunk piece of shit, but more creative in his rantings than most. That's of no consequence though since he's still lulzey as fuck. He also wears a neckbrace all the time to state to the world that he has seven shades of shit beaten out of him when he says his trademark [[Offended|offensive]] phrases to random people in public.

== Biography of Danny ==
Danny was born [[at least 100]] years ago in [[North Dakota]]. He was married to Shirlena for 15 damn years and was forced to move because his [[wife]] was [[whore|fucking everybody in Bismark]]. Also, because her homemade Spaghetti did not [[ass|taste]] as he would prefer. And before that he was married to some bitch name Barb.

He has reportedly lived in [[New Jersey]] but all of the [[black]]s and long-legged pissed off [[Puerto Rico|Puerto Ricans]] [[pwned]] his ass right back out. Apparently, around that time he developed Tourette's and now resides on [[Internets|teh Internets]]. Danny is a fluent speaker of [[idiot]] and [[Mexico|Mexican]]. He has one son who is a [[retard]] and sounds like a [[faggot|pussy]] when he talks on camera. Danny also hates actor Rick Moranis and wishes he was [[sick fuck|molested]] on the set of [[Shit|Honey, I Shrunk the Kids]] behind the scenes.

In 2008, after news of Tourette's Guys apparent death circulated the [[interwebz]], a user from [[Facepunch]] named UziXxX who has no life opened up an investigation into Danny's personal life due to another Facepunch user allegedly spotting the Tourette's Guy in a Kroger.

After a lengthy and one-hour investigation (HOLY SHIT! [[BALLS]]!) he concluded that Danny lived in Columbus, Ohio. He also discovered his residence, where he found out that [[Shit nobody cares about|the Tourette's Guy rented the house where the videos were filmed, was friends with the owner (who appeared in the pickles clip), owned a red car, his phone number, and that he used to live in an apartment.]]

How does he know this? Apparently the only Jolly Pirate Donuts that exists is in Columbus OH. GF. Try again later. Also, in the first video, when he talks about watching Scooby Doo, he's wearing a [[Hockey|Columbus Blue Jackets]] jersey.

With this information, many began to suspect that he was not dead and infac--[[Uncyclopedia|HOLY SHIT! I GOTTA GO! SOME SQUIRREL'S FUCKING MY TOMATOES!]]

Known Facts about Danny

* [[Epic Win|Can freely change the month simply by yelling "PISS"]].
* Has two ex-wives, one that still visits him to make his fucking [[kitchen|breakfast]] and bitch about her mother.
* His latest ex-wife is actually [[Lesbian|Rosie O'fucking Donnell]], DAMN IT his son knows her secret.
* Owns a toolbox FUCK full of forks, which he keeps in the shitting [[kitchen]].
* From experience, he has determined the fucking difference between shitting & pissing out a bathroom window.
* Lives in Columbus, God damn Ohio
* Has a liver kidney disorder, which prevents him from eating foods with a high FUCKING salt content.
* Drives an ass-fuck ugly red '94 Geo Prizm
* Once massaged Heads & Shoulders Shampoo into his eyes just for the SHIT COCK of it. Also, WHAT THE FUCKING PISS, THAT WAS FUCKING STUPID.
* He is unaware of the location of his GOD DAMN pants.
* Can silence a door-to-door salesman by telling him to make like a banana and [[SHIT]]!
* Once kicked out of a Lens Crafters because he couldn't stop calling people [[Dick|DICKS]]. Then the manager called him a [[DUMBASS]], like he's his DAD and [[SHIT]].
* Once was refused as a contestant on [[Shit nobody cares about|Wheel of Fortune]] and said he wanted to call Vanna White a bitch in person and tie Pat Sajak to a telephone pole and let the UPS guy buttfuck him.
* [[truth|He is still making videos]] http://www.thetourettesguy.tv

The Videos

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Public Reaction

[[Wikipedia]] currently [[Fail|refuses to create an article on Danny.]] There are currently [[over 9,000]] [[YTMND]] pages about Danny, which now PISS currently classifies him as [[unfunny]]. Nevertheless, Danny is still a [[YTMND]] fan.

Danny "The Tourette's Guy" has also sparked almost a cult following of fans. Many of his fans were sad to see him pass away and made tribute videos for his family. There have also been many parodies done of his videos by Tourette's Guy crazed fans.

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== [[Shit nobody cares about|Favorite Songs]] ==

*"I'll be Missin' You" - Puff Daddy
*"Break My Stride" - Matthew Wilder
*"[[Bestiality|Tarzan Boy]]" - Baltimora
*"Styx" - Renegade Master
*"Mexican Flea" - Herb Alpert

[[Shit nobody cares about|Favorite TV Shows & Movies]]

*The Lion King
*Jeopardy (He once had a dream where Alex Trebek had [[WTF|a picture of a giraffe in his ass during an earthquake]])
*[[Furry|Alf]]
*Scooby-Doo
*[[Doctor Who]]
*[[Star Wars]]
*[[Star Trek]]
*[[Full House]] (He still hates Bob Saget though)
*Mighty Ducks
*Magnum P.I.
*Wheel of Fortune (Ever since he was refused as a contestant, he no longer gives a shit about it and wants to call Vanna White a bitch in person and tie Pat Sajak to a telephone pole and let the UPS guy buttfuck him)

[[Shit nobody cares about|Favorite Video Games]]

*[[Mortal Kombat]]

Tourette's Guy Phrases

* "The garbage disposal sounds like [[Star Wars|Chewbacca]] taking a shit!"
* "DON'T TALK [[SHIT]] ABOUT 'TOTAL'!!!!"
* "You can go to Jolly [[Pirate]] Donuts and take a two-hour [[Shit|SHIT]] for all I care!"
* "[[RAGE|You're 93 years old and you don't know what Alf is?!]]"
* "[[RAGE|FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK]]!!!"
* "DAMN IT! HOLY SHIT! BALLS!"
* "YES! I bought your [[Cum|Colgate toothpaste]], the one with [[Semen|tartar control]]! AND IT MADE ME FEEL...LIKE A PIECE OF [[SHIT]]!!!"
* "[[Bob Saget|BOB SAGET]]!"
* "My ass could write a better song than these guys, with one cheek tied behind my balls!"
* "You look like [[Fat|200 pounds]] of BIRD [[SHIT]]!!!"
* "I hope this is the Puff Daddy version of this song, not that [[Unwarranted self importance|Sting]] piece of SHIT!"
* "I don't give a dead moose's last [[Shit|SHIT!]]"
* "Let me tell you about a porcupine's balls. They're small, and they don't give a [[Shit|SHIT!]]"
* "FUCK SALT!"
* "That's not Mickey Mouse, that's just [[TIT]] DIRT!"
* "You can't do [[Shit|SHIT]] without your [[cock|BALLS!]]"
* "PISSING out the window and [[Shit|shitting]] out the window ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS!!!"
* "[[cuckoldry|Who wrinkled my Randy Travis poster, pissed in the seat and hid my keys?]]"
* "[[bitch|BITCH!]] I love you."
* "Last time I gave a [[Shit|shit]], I got FUCKED!!"
* "[[Buttsecks|BUTT FUCK!!!]]"
* "Go count your [[dick|DICK!]]"
* "[[fellatio|SUCK MY DICK! OR COCK!]]"
* "[[Shit|SHIT!!!]]"
* "I have freedom of speech. And if they don't like it, they can go [[Masturbation|FUCKING FUCK THEIR FUCKING SELF!]]"
* "I don't give a [[Shit|shit, shit, SHIT!!!]]"
* "[[McDonald's|RONALD MCGODDAMN DONALD]]"
* "Calm down. Calm down. Don't get a [[Boner|big DICK!]]"
* "Fuck you, Head and Shoulders!"
* "What the hell do you mean a [[AIDS|'Peter Pan Peanut Butter Alert']]?!"
* "I have to live in this [[4chan|hellhole!]] All you ever do is stay at home and play with your [[tits]] and look at your [[ass]] at the same time!"
* "[[Shit|AW SHIT!]]"
* "DAMMIT, THESE [[Boner|FISHSTICKS]] ARE HARD AS [[tits|TITS]]!!!"
*"I'm not afraid of shit! ...Except snakes"
*"Once you see my dick, you won't want it!!!"
*".................................FUCK!"
*"Where'd you get all this shit?"
*(On Amazon.com) "Is that that big black woman you work with?"
*"Dom Delouise: He used to be a chef on TV. But now he just sits at home, WITH HIS ASS UP HIS ASS!!"
*"HORSE [[shit|MANURE]]!!!
*"This is the second time I've been fucked by Dairy Queen!"
*"Bacon and eggs dear" (fat fuck ex-wife Sheila) "What?" (Danny) [[lulz|"OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD I SAID BACON AND EGGS!"]]
*"It feels like there's 500 pounds of fatass on my chest!"
*"Fuck you kid, you're a dick! You're a faggot!"
*"I didn't talk to nobody yesterday! I was in the car taking a shit!"
*"It's embarrassing as fuck to have an ass!"
*"It's like when Alex Trebek has a picture of a giraffe in his ass during an earthquake!"
*"Who gives a shit about Bigfoot? [[Buttsecks|Men's asses]]. [[Hot Topic|Fashion Bug]]. Fashion Bug. I'd like to meet the motherfucker who called it Fashion Bug and shove a broom up his ass! Bitch!"
*"[[Mr. Hands|Fuck horses!]] I don't give a shit about [[KFC|Kentucky!]]"
*"I wouldn't [[Google]] [[emo|Limp Bizcuit]] with your [[penis|dick]]!"
*[[Gordon Ramsay|"Fuck me!"]]
*"Remember that [[fat]] [[WWE|wrestler]] from the 1980's named Dusty Rhodes? Man, he was a piece of [[shit]]!!!"
*"Well, you tell him that I SAID that I wouldn't [[piss]] on him if he was on Jeopardy!"
*"Does this look like the [[ass]] of someone who would know if Jiffy Lube is open on Sundays??"
*"I'm going to Scotch Tape your [[Ass]] Shut!!!"
*"If she was a car, she'd be a [[car|4 Door Ford]] [[whore|Whore!]]
*"You're a [[fat|big ass]] waste of [[shit]]!"
*"That [[cocks|clock]] is full of [[shit]]!!"
*"If I ever see [[whore|Vanna White]] in person I'll call her a [[bitch]]!"
*"[[HA HA HA, OH WOW|"Then I'll tie Pat Sajak to a telephone pole, and let a UPS guy BUTT FUCK HIM!"]]
*"[[ball|Round big balls!]]"
*"[[ass|Ass, ass ass ass ass ass,]] [[shit|shit shit shit shit shit]]"
*"[[Mortal Kombat|Mortal Dick Head!]]"
*"WAIT A MINUTE YOU [[Dick|DICK!]]"

Return of Tourette's Guy

On [[Christmas|December 25th, 2009]], a new video was uploaded on [[Youtube|JewTube]]. It appears to be a new Tourette's Guy video, and as usual, contains massive amounts of [[win]] and [[humor]]. A part two has yet to be seen is also available, but [[do not want|ONCE YOU SEE MY DICK, YOU WON'T WANT IT!]]

A fourth video of [[epic win|Tourette's Guy]] was released on [[Christmas|December 25th]], 2012, much to the delight of all his lady fans.

A brand new short has been posted on Halloween and Christmas 2014.

Tourettes Guy returns with a new video on Christmas 2017.

On the 20th anniversary of Tourettes Guy, a new video was uploaded on Christmas 2020.

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Other Videos

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Gallery

External Links

* http://thetourettesguy.tv/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Tourette's Guy's new Website
* http://tourettesguy.com/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Official Tourette's Guy Website LOL EXPIRED BACK WHERE'S YOUR GOD NOW!? [[Loldongs|LOLDONGS]]
* http://www.leemarks.co.uk/danny.html" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Tourette's Guy Tribute Page with DVD Download DID IT DIED?
* http://www.zzzushi.co.nr/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Tourette's Guy Soundboard
* http://tgfuckthephone.ytmnd.com/" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">A Tourette's Guy YTMND
* https://youtube.fandom.com/wiki/Tourettes_Guy" class="text-indigo-600 dark:text-indigo-400 hover:underline" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Tourettes Guy on the YouTube wiki
*

See Also

* [[No Cussing Club]]
* [[Swearing]]
* [[Angry Grandpa]]

[[Category:Trolls]]
[[Category:People]]